Self-confidence Myths

Don’t let low self-confidence hold you back.

In my work I regularly meet people who say they have little, or no, confidence. Often that’s because they have bought into one of the myths that are associated with low self-confidence. So here are four myths that you can discount as being untrue.


The first of those is:

You can’t learn confidence; you’ve either got it or you haven’t.

Now clearly this is not true. Midwives aren’t delivering babies saying ‘this one will have self-confidence, this one will not have any confidence. The great news is, confidence is a process. It’s a process you can learn, a process you can follow, and you can learn to build your own levels of self-confidence.

Myth Number 2

If you lose your self-confidence it’s gone forever.

We all lose our confidence from time to time, sometimes in quite dramatic fashion. I think it was Barbara Streisand, the singer, who once famously forgot the words at a concert. As a consequence of that, a really traumatic incident for her, she lost her confidence and didn’t perform live again for many years. The good news is, if for some reason you do lose your confidence, you can get it back any time you want. Remember, confidence is a process

Myth Number 3

Clever and successful people are confident.

Now of course there may be a correlation, or appear to be a correlation on the surface between successful people and confident people, but actually, that’s often not as true as you might think. I was reading Bear Gryll’s autobiography recently; he is a T.V. celebrity, ex special forces person and explorer who has climbed Everest. Interestingly, in his autobiography he was talking about his levels of self doubt. So there is not necessarily a correlation between successful people and confident people. In fact I would argue the correlation is more likely to be that successful people are better at appearing to be self confident. They have the same doubts as the rest of us.

Finally Myth Number 4.

Self-confident people are arrogant.

Well, we can all be arrogant sometimes and confident people can play that card too far and appear to be a little arrogant. Yet if they are genuinely self-confident they are probably going to be self aware enough to pull back from that. Ironically, if somebody is being really arrogant it may well be that they are trying hard to appear confident, when actually they’re not feeling confident at all.

So these are four, pretty straight forward myths that are plainly not true, but if you buy into them they will start to eat away at your levels of confidence. And remember, confidence is a process. You can learn the process. In reality, the only person who decides your level of confidence is you.

Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained.

Marie Curie


Over the next few weeks I will be developing my next online course on growing your confidence. If this might interest you, and you want to be able to take advantage of early bird offers, simply subscribe to my mailing list which you will find at the bottom of the home page.

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